Big Bird Banditos

Article by Hugo Blue

BONYTHON PARK—Police have arrested a third suspect for the theft of the Adelaide circus’ Big Bird costume, valued at $160,000, after receiving altogether too much sass from the two thieves already in custody.

Authorities were hot on the case, pursuing a trail of yellow feathers, only to have the mystery thwarted when security camera footage caught two males in dark clothing dumping the Big Birdy suit.

Black SUVs swarmed the scene, Jerry Bruckheimer-style, finding the costume largely intact. A note from the thieves hung from Big’s beak, offering their apology for being “such a big birdin.”

How dare they.

Aghast at such punditry, investigators scrutinized the camera footage and discovered the presence of a previously unknown “third woman.” An arrest promptly followed.

Despite the savage abduction, the thieves maintain their stand-up character: “We had a great time with Mr. Bird. He’s a great guy and no harm came to our friend.” Stay tuned for the commemorative montage.

As to their motivation, the duo admitted, “we were just having a rough time and wanted to cheer ourselves up.” Naturally, abducting a childhood mascot came to mind.

Now, faced with the consequences of the theft, the thieves aren’t so cheery. But the rest of us certainly got a kick out of it.

If you do choose crime as your preferred method of rallying your spirits, maybe think twice before flipping the police the bird.

Editor’s Note: An article from The Edville Gazette appears on News Now Network sites once a week. There is also a podcast for your listening delight https://anchor.fm/radiofreeedville.

#theedvillegazette, #humour, #edville

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *